It was not until the recent one and a half year did my life see any improvement: COVID-19 ceased and after 5 semesters of undeniably lacklustre performance yet no failed subjects, I resigned myself to fate and tried to study to the best of my ability. This was where my English skills came in handy: I missed a lot of basic knowledge due to negligence and depression but gradually came to recover them (though understandably not completely) by reading a lot of English reference books suggested by the teachers. Also my dad was elevated to a much higher and better position because the higher-ups acknowledged his contribution and competence and straight up appointed him the post (mind you, we didn't have to resort to bribery in stark contrast to the previous time when we actually spent a lot for a position he was rightfully ordered to take). Even better, my brother finally came to his senses and stopped worrying us with his reckless and defying acts.
So all's well that ends well, right ? My parents and I are slowly reaching a mutual understanding and we may have our disagreement from time to time, I no longer feel any resentment towards them and get to comprehend their struggles with supplying us with necessities and guidance while my parents have become considerably more lax and doting throughout the years. Then why am I still so anxious ? Is it because my inferiority complex acting up again now that everything's fine ? Maybe, but I've kept it in check for quite some time. The harsh period we endured together has left me pondering about my future prospect. My parents are not young anymore and there have been signs of their failing health whereas I will eventually be obliged to step up as the one to take care of my own family. Truth to be told, I'm scared because I have so many shortcomings and both of my career options (becoming either a pharmacist or an English teacher) are becoming more and more saturated. But you are right, it's better for things to happen at their natural paces. Castles aren't built in a day. Mastery can only come from efforts and practice when natural talent can only get you so far. I've been too preoccupied these days with work so I think I'd better get some rest the next few days to relieve my mind of all these worries and intrusive thoughts.
